It turns out that I’m afraid of the zombies after all. Quite desperately afraid according to last night’s dream. Which makes sense. Most people are, I guess except for the Walking Dead fans whom I assume are down with all that. But I thought the zombies and I would be able to coexist if not be besties. I thought I could blend. Though I certainly look better than either of these two ladies, I’m not all that put together even on my good days. So, I thought I could act my way through being one of them. You know, I go all method acty a la Daniel Day-Lewis and they’d be none the wiser. Except mealtimes would be an obvious hurdle. I wouldn’t be able to join them during the feasting because of the major gross out factor and my inability to method act my way out of the gag reflex. I’d have to have my reasons at the ready for why I couldn’t join them. Oh sorry, zombies, I’m off to go terrorize some people. I planned this with my buddy days ago, and I’m not really hungry right now anyway. But thanks for the invite. We might be doing this a lot since this is a standing invitation with us, so I might not be available for meals, you know, but I’ll be seeing you around. What’s my buddy’s name? Um…his name is……………Levi’s. Levi. His name is Levi. He’s pretty cool. I’ll bring him over and introduce him sometime soon. Yeah, I’m sorry about missing dinner. Oh yeah, I love love love brains, but I scarfed down a major bowl at breakfast, so I’m all good ’til tomorrow. See you guys later.
I’d have to get really creative on the excuses, and I’d eventually run out of ideas on ways to avoid them when they get to snacking. Oh man, I can just hear the slurping now. I can’t stand it when I’m dining with a slurper, and I just know these folks are not going to be so much with the manners. They’d have brains and such hanging out of their mouths while recounting some anecdote from the day, and I’d be unable to focus on anything but the brains while cradling my vomit pail in between violent hurl sessions and explaining that I must have caught something particularly nasty from the dude’s brains that I consumed yesterday. No, I’m not up to eating just yet, thanks anyway, Leonard. Also Leonard? You’ve got a little something hanging <gag> from your mouth right over <gag> there. I should probably start watching Walking Dead and take notes. I’m going to need all the information I can get for this acting stint if I’m going to try to fit in because that stupid gag reflex is going to be my tell.