I am the world’s worst packer. Ask anyone. Well, that won’t yield you much information since almost nobody knows me. So don’t ask anyone. Unless you know any of my family members. If you know any of my family members, DEFINITELY ask them. They can certainly tell you how very much I suck at packing. Some of them have suffered in some way due to my deficiency. If there was a competition devoted to world’s worst packer? I’d totally be

We missed our fifth family member.

That crappy song is running through your head now, isn’t it? It’s not? Wait, you don’t even know what song I’m referencing? Really? You were spared that Peaches & Herb schmaltz? It’s cause you’re young, right? Well, lucky you, my friend!! Not me. I would be sitting in the doctor’s or dentist’s office stuck listening to that noxious mess. And what was I going to do about it? Nothing. I was a little kid. I wasn’t going anywhere. I was