I get it. Really, I do. But, you should make sure it’s an informed decision because it’s a big commitment. The little pups are more than just pretty faces, you know. There are things you should know about them. Dirty, terrible little things. Things I’m going to tell you about in an infographic. Because I haven’t done one in a long while, and I’m bored.   You’re going to do it anyway, right? I hear you. I’ve got one of

It occurs to me that not only is my left hand practically useless when rated on dexterity, but is also completely comfortable with that situation. How sad that my left hand watches my right do all the work and just hangs about, participating only when an extra hand is needed for lifting, balancing or pulling, pushing or grabbing. You know, the easy stuff. And I don’t know for sure, but I suspect it does this bare minimum while rolling its

The revolving security door at my office rejected me last Friday. It flashed green when I swiped my badge tricking me into entering its little tube of contained crap-air, and then halfway through my journey to the other side, it stopped completely, trapping me with nowhere to go, and started belting out an alarming noise to alert people from miles away that I was unwanted. AND THEN IT REVERSED DIRECTION AND EJECTED ME. In front of a line of 10

“Hey, Alice. Snack on this puppy,” said the caterpillar. OK, that’s not exactly the dialogue I remember with great fondness, but in the penis-shaped ‘shroom version, I imagine the dialogue might veer more towards bow-chicka-bow-bow. You’re confused, right? Well, I was just ambling around the backyard encouraging Lexi to hurry about her business because I was ready to get back inside when, “WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT? Cover your eyes, young Lexi. You’re only 9 months old. Oh right,

I believe I mentioned in my last tripping post that I was going to do an infographic about what to do when you are playing the starring role in a tripping situation and post that sucker in the week following the last one. Yeah, I missed that deadline by a mile, but it was a sucker deadline. Because who gives a tiny rat’s ass whether I post a damn infographic or not. Particularly today. Nevertheless, I promised you an infographic,

OK, thankfully the Miley-Cyrus-at-the-VMAs furor has died down. The open letters to Miley, and her father, and all of Hollywood, and Congress, and ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN OHMYGODWON’TSOMEONEPLEASETHINKOFTHECHILDREN!!!! have finally slowed or even stopped. I don’t really get the “earnest open letter to famous person” madness that seems to happen all over social media when some celeb has been targeted for a public intervention. Hey guys. No celeb is reading your open letters. Trust me. They are way too busy