I really participate fully in my dreams. When that giant lion appears and roars to signal that the feature is about to start, I’m all in, baby. (I just indicated that my nocturnal playground is run by MGM. That’s extremely unsettling. I’ve relinquished all creative control to a third party. P.S. This is not true. My crazy, lovable—she-made-me-type-that—brain is running the show.) Anyway, as I was saying, I am an all-the-way-in participant in my dreams. Therefore, I am a strong

Dreams can be really useful in helping you figure out how to deal with something that’s a little out of the ordinary. Not like the one I had the other night where I was being eaten very, very slowly by a T-Rex. I mean, come on. Those dudes are long gone, and even if they weren’t, I’d be totally mocking the guy for being so leisurely about the whole mess. And I just now got why he was going about

My brain is not my friend. I’d go so far as to say that my brain hates me. I know it sounds like a logic fail. My brain is me and all that. But in my case, the assertion stands up. For example, she’s always feeding me inappropriate words. Words close enough to the correct word to make it through my filter and out of my mouth. Furthermore, the dreams she subjects me to on the regular are truly horrifying. Apocalyptic-type

Have you noticed how nobody wants to hear about your dreams unless they have a dream of their own they want to share? Let’s say you had a real humdinger the night before that you want some help deciphering and mention to one of your designated people (the people tasked with listening to your most yawn-inducing crap to whom you return the favor) that you had this crazy dream last night. The words are barely out of your mouth before

Dear Brain, I’m sure it’s exhausting to find dream content night after night. So sprinkling celebrities in sometimes keeps things fresh for me and eases your immense burden. However, I’d like to strongly suggest that unless a cowbell is prominently featured, Christopher Walken really shouldn’t be starring. Dude is seriously creepy. How about substituting Jon Hamm or Clive Owen? They are always welcome. Love, Me