Ah, sexist anecdotes, I can’t hear enough of them. Super please yes yay! And the people who are so generous as to bend your ear with them? Salt of the earth. Nobody enjoys a women vs. dogs comparison more than I do. As humor goes, it’s almost as intellectually-advanced as a good blonde joke.

Damn Machine

It’s not that our washing machine officially turned in its resignation. It’s more that we called it in for its performance review, gave it specific areas for improvement, and realized it wasn’t listening to one word we said but was playing with its instrument panel instead. Damn machine. So we hired a mentor to come in and make some critical tweaks to Sgt. Suds before things became dire, and we murdered it in the wee hours of the morning (when the Sarge sleeps).

The Sexist Washing Machine Mentor

The washing machine mentor (this is a real job title on LinkedIn – don’t quote me on that) arrives and the first brief interaction I have with him is when he calls me Mom which….

Get Out Movie GIF

Listen, sir, I’m wrestling with enough demons trying to figure out who I am these days without you immediately reducing me to a label. And only one label at that. Damn. Also, and yes, this sounds cruel, but to you I should be Daughter. Enjoy your day. I was enjoying mine until you threw me back into a morass of inner turmoil and self-doubt.

Women and Dogs Anecdote

So dude comes in to begin the mentoring, looks at me and then at Matthew and his brain fills with a genius idea.

I’ll paraphrase because my brain has already reached for the bleach to begin the memory wipe.

Mentor, while looking at me: Remember, this is something I was talking to another man about.
Me: …
Matthew: …
Mentor, not reading the room: Why aren’t women as glad to see men as dogs are after a long day? If you locked a woman and a dog in the trunk, which one would be wagging their tail glad to see you when you let them out?
Me, turning and exiting the room: …
Matthew, realizing he’s now stuck with fool supervision: …
Mentor, still not reading the room is pretty entertained with himself: I work hard all day. I asked my wife will you wag your tail for me?

Matthew tried to get him to work more and talk less since talking wasn’t doing him any favors, and I think it’s possible even Matthew’s patience began to fade at the end. He’s super patient, unlike me, so that’s not an easy thing to accomplish.

I will close by recommending this movie I really enjoyed. Don’t expect this to deliver as some sort of treatise but as more of a shallow dive to inspire a greater and more inclusive exploration.

Feed my skull resident...

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