So, I carpooled today. With a mosquito. And they are obviously horrible choices for carpool participants. It’s unfortunate not to have the opportunity to opt out of carpooling with a bug of any nature beforehand, but it’s more unfortunate to only discover that you’ve got one of these hitchhikers onboard while moving along at a speedy clip on the highway with a mass of cars on all sides trying to steal your buffers. But let’s face it. That’s how these discoveries typically go. I may or may not have been belting out the lyrics to some tunage when the little dude performed his first kamikaze attempt. I may or may not have jumped ever so slightly as I was surprised to see the little jerk zipping about with his fancy black and white striping. I hate those guys thinking they are so fancy and tough just because they can get all up in everyone’s grills during the day! I may or may not have called him numerous names inappropriate for the younger set, and, consequently, may or may not have angered the car directly in front of me at the stoplight who appeared to be lip reading at an unfortunate time. Sorry, fellow traveler! I won’t even pretend that I didn’t flail about for most of the trip in attempts to thwart his multiple attempts to draw my blood. Yo, nurse mosquito, let’s reschedule the blood work, ok? How about for any time OTHER than when we are traveling at 65 mph, mmmmkay?
But I taught him a little lesson. Pro bono. I allowed him to land on my arm while I let down the window. I didn’t kill him as he tried to dracula me but flicked him outside. Hey mosquito? Fly. Be free. Lesson: Find another method of travel, bugs, because you are NEVER welcome in our cars!