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Should I recap this episode that aired all the way back in 2006? Hell yeah, I should. I mean, it’s not like you gotta stick around for my indulgence, right?

As the episode begins, I adore the fact that the mugger has to yell to get their attention as they are all bickering about what is the best movie of all time and, of course, the way the guys flee from the mugger, pushing Dee out of the way to do so. Totally appropriate for their characters. And….cue title sequence.

Dee’s taking self-defense classes and Mac hilariously asks her if it’s about their argument last night about whether or not Million Dollar Baby is the best movie ever, completely conveniently ignoring the fact that the guys all left Dee to face the mugger alone while arguing how much more capable guys are when it comes to battle. This show is so layered with easy access to jokes that are so much fun at the surface that it’s easy to miss how much fun it’s having mocking certain segments of the population. This scene isn’t even a great example of that, but it just reminded me that it’s one of the things I love most about the show.

When Frank and Dee walk in the gym, and Frank talks about the smell, I immediately think, “UGH, all gyms smell like feet to me. I have no idea why this is, but they all do. Invariably.” Thanks for voicing it, Dee. I’m proud of Dee for not looking intimidated (not that the challenge has been extended yet) by that Laverne & Shirley dude’s daughter who we see fighting and is a total bad ass.

Time for Dennis and Mac to sell Charlie on getting his ass handed to him on the regular as a street fighter so that they can make some fat stacks. Like Charlie, I’m quite confused by their repeated requests to remove his shirt. Is it so they can inflict more pain? Anyway, strange.

Dennis: You should probably be drunk for this.

I agree with Dennis and, of course, Charlie, who brought it up in the first place. Although it will certainly make it harder for Charlie to determine the point at which his internal organs (heck, maybe external organs — I’m not sure we can trust Dennis and Mac to aim properly so that Charlie doesn’t start talking at a much higher register) have become damaged beyond repair.

Mac: Well, we should all be drunk for this.

It’s funny when the guys come to Charlie’s door later for more “training” and he’s unguarded enough to actually open it and they bash him with a trashcan as an introduction to their new philosophy in which Charlie needs to concentrate on being able to tolerate pain instead of delivering pain since he’s not so capable with that. Charlie’s not so much with this plan at first, but they finally win him over and begin with the beatings. And the drinking begins again, too. Maybe Dennis and Mac could lighten up a bit on the “getting liquored up” as they aren’t doing a damn thing except inflicting pain on our beloved Charlie. Yeah, I feel pretty strongly that Dennis and Mac should specifically NOT be allowed to drink.

Dee starts on the steroids to get an extra edge. She’s pretty turned on by the whole plan when her source tells her the long-term side effect could be punching a guy so hard in the eye that he swallows the eyeball.

The boys begin taking turns punching Charlie and are clearly horribly torn apart about having to punch their buddy. I’m not really sure how well the drinking is dulling poor Charlie’s pain, but there is a direct correlation with the amount that he drinks and the bravado he feels. So, good call on getting liquored up, guys. Hmmmm, except for that part about not being able to properly assess injuries accurately as I mentioned earlier….

Dee’s starting to show some improvement. And some anger management issues. Frank’s a little weirded out. And that scene shown above happens, and I rewind it more than a few times. And I’m so happy. Also, the fight between Dee and the Laverne and Shirley dude’s daughter is set for the following Friday where either babies will be consumed or Dee will kick that girl’s ass. It’s not entirely clear. Oh, right, Dee did say something about paralyzing her which is awfully foreshadowey (I SAY it’s a word, spellcheck, so settle.) and which I never paid attention to until this viewing.

Music sequence follows: Dee training, Dennis and Mac outnerding each other, Dennis and Mac assisting Charlie with the rearranging of his internal organs, Charlie beginning Dee’s winning steroid regimen, Dee working on some manly facial traits, Charlie offering his back for wood-splitting tasks, and Dee grows killer ‘stache that would have been super useful when she tried out for the Eagles but has its drawbacks as she has to begin facial shaving regimen.

Dee’s quite understandably upset because she can’t find a hair accessory and accidentally punches a hole in her wall when venting her frustration. Meanwhile, Charlie is having a little snack and sobbing. When Dennis and Mac ask him about it though, he’s able to express that his thoughts are just making him so angry and then he begins laughing uncontrollably while expelling large pieces of food. It seems that these two managed to avoid any strange mood swings with the steroid regimen.

But the best scene of this entire episode for me, even better than the one shown above, happens when Dee asks who took her pills.

Charlie: I might’ve had some.

Dee gets up so close to Charlie’s face that I’m already laughing.

Dee: Oh yeah, I’m going to punch a hole through your face.

Charlie: I’d like to see you try that.

And the stare down between Dee and Charlie in full-on steroid mode begins. I can’t imagine the number of times they must have had to reshoot that scene. I don’t even know why I put the lines in there. The scene is all about Dee’s and Charlie’s expressions. Again, I rewound this scene multiple times to enjoy it again and again.

It’s hard to recap any more of the episode after that scene. But this is one of my all-time faves of this show. And that’s saying something.

WARNING: This one has a very dark ending for the Laverne and Shirley dude’s bad ass daughter.

Feed my skull resident...

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