It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No, it’s a bird.

While doing various tasks around the house I was thinking, I really love the sound of birds. Then, I remember thinking, wow, one of those birds is a lot louder than the rest. And next, hmmm, upon further reflection, I’m really only hearing one bird. That’s curious. As I entered what I later christened the “room of chaos” I heard a strange flapping sound coming from the curtains. Fortunately this is when my brain became active, and I realized that perhaps the bird that was making the noises was IN the house. Yes, duh. And, I have no idea what took me so long to reach this conclusion. I think my brain was stuck in the reality that birds remain outside at all times; therefore, the bird sounds are coming from outside. At this point, I did what everyone hopes to do in this situation. I freaked out and ran around the room ineffectively. Surprisingly, that did not calm down the bird who began to mimic my behavior. So, now the bird and I are rushing to opposite corners of the room to avoid each other while I pretend that I’m really trying to solve the problem and eject the bird from the house. Feathers are flying, and I’m beginning to search for my phone because it’s immediately clear that the bird is going to remain in the house unless I call in reinforcements. So, I called my dad, and my dad shooed the bird out of the house. It took him 5 minutes. I applauded and was ashamed.

This happened two years ago, and I still get a little apprehensive when I hear the birds chattering particularly loudly outside. And I know that jerk talked after he was shooed out. I know he mocked my efforts to expel him, conveniently leaving out the part where he flew around all panicked looking for a way out. I still love the sound of birds as long as they remain outside.

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