Internal Editor Job Description
Immediate opportunity for an Internal Editor! The successful internal editor will first and foremost not be a lazy sack of bones (metaphorically speaking) who gets super angsty about the sharing of mundane, innocuous stories/information but who lets very personal details or just entirely inappropriate thoughts and ideas out of the safety of my internal reflection into the wild, weirding out or offending those I am trying to entertain and/or impress and/or, ya know, just hang with because I think they’re cool.
- Checking for incendiary or otherwise inappropriate content and removing it from the queue.
- Trying to mitigate the damage with flattery, or apologies, or diversion (a.k.a. “shiny object” tactics) when something unfortunate exits the queue before being censored and triggers a bad reaction.
- Reading the room.
- Logging and tracking incoming topics and ideas and quickly producing an appropriately-edited response or filing the response for later action with an attached due date in special situations. (Ed. Note: Refer to memory bank for unfortunate texting incidents, etc. and shut that shit down.)
- Generating reports as needed to be reviewed late at night. Late, late, late at night. Hopefully, reports will no longer yield bouts of crying, rocking and fetal position assuming. (Ed. Note: Previous editor let lots of crap get into the queue. #BeBest)
- Reviewing/analyzing accuracy of grammar, pronunciation, and clarity of thought for proposed responses.
- Recommending policy/procedure changes as needed to refine thought processes and promote more effective communications.
- RTFR. (Swapping in room in RTFM. Shhhh, UD.)
Minimum of 30 years’ experience:
- Planning, coordinating, or editing content for speaking engagements.
- Reviewing drafts for possible upcoming interactions.
- Providing task management for a prolific but chaotic operation generating emotions, thoughts, and ideas: including reviewing, assigning (Is it a text? Is it an eyebrow pop with accompanying sarcastic quip? Is it an audible message? Ed. Note: Please use audible and text messaging as a last resort.), logging (for future angst), and prioritizing outgoing utterances. (Ed. Note: Redundant.)
- Remaining calm and competent in a work environment that is best described as squishy and bland in color. With areas that have probably been shut down due to inactivity. It’s bleak in there, y’all.
- Entering, referencing, and maintaining data in internal, extremely disorganized database.
- Exercising critical thinking and demonstrating an affinity for trouble-shooting and problem-solving. Perhaps using dream production output for opportunities in this arena instead of wasting that time on really weird and completely useless nocturnal content.
- Demonstrating attention to detail and a commitment to accuracy when necessary and a commitment to the art of hyperbole whenever appropriate. Because who isn’t absolutely delirious over exaggeration? Huh? Amirite? (Ed. Note: #eyeroll)
- Performing other duties as required. Looking for a real go-getter who will be comfortable wearing many hats. (Ed. Note: #sigh)
Salary commensurate with experience.