I’ve got a reputation for being map-challenged. This is more a consequence of being annoyed with taking the time to use the map than actually being unable to decipher one. When I’m forced to use a map, I can get the job done and arrive at my targeted destination without arriving at untargeted destinations beforehand. But given the choice, I will choose to wing it. And since I am a woman, the standard trope about how it’s only men who don’t look at maps or ask for directions but just keep on driving assuming they will eventually end up where they are supposed to be makes me roll my eyes so hard that I lose my balance. Anyway, Google Maps is my bestie because I just set that bad boy up and let it order me around when I’m going somewhere new. It works great. 99% of the time. And when I see a route that appears new, I choose it and think, this looks fun. I don’t recognize this way, and I’ve got the time. Most of the time this works really well. But I’ve just discovered that Google Maps and I have reached the stage in our relationship where pranking each other is acceptable.

Prank the first: I needed to go to a business address in an area of town unfamiliar to me. I entered the address into my buddy and away we went. All was great until the final leg of the trip as Google Maps navigated me past an office park and into a neighborhood. I knew things were looking a little shady at this point, but I thought I’d stay with the directions for a minute or two just in case this business was thinking outside of the box in its office space locale. It quickly became obvious that my navigator was having one on me, so I reversed course and returned to the office park.

Prank the second: I signed Anna up for a new camp at a location that was over the meadow and through the woods and around the tan barn by the stream. So I entered the church name into my sidekick and packed the kids and the dog into the car. 20 minutes later, Google Maps told us to take a left into the church where the camp was being held. The slight problem was that taking a left at that location would be difficult as there was no left to be taken. We scanned ahead and saw the church about 1/2 mile ahead on the right.

So, now Google Maps is two pranks up on me, and I don’t even have a rebuttal prank. It’s all totally cool because it gets me close enough that I can wing it the rest of the way. So, you know, no hard feelings, but I do feel that some sort of response on my part is necessary. I can’t let this go unanswered because Google Maps may feel that it needs to up the ante to get my attention, and next time I’m going to end up in Iceland. I do not like the cold. Prank suggestions are welcome.

Feed my skull resident...

Comments (4)

  1. bluegoostudios


    I’m the complete opposite of the male stereotype (I think it’s genetic, Stephanie). I turn on my Google iPhone friend and blindly follow the audio directions. If someone were to see me, they’d see a zombie staring straight ahead, completely void of deep thought, a simple-witted drone operated by a simple-witted drone.

    When I do wake up and realize I’ve been taken to dark areas, I circle back and hope my inner compass turns on. This is when Google incessantly keeps trying to take me back to the dark area. I blissfully ignore her pleading tone, “take a right. take, take, t-t-t-take a left, please make a u-turn at the roundabout.” Um, no you fool. I can see the Golden Arches from here, thank you very much!!!

    That’s all I have as a prank. Just freak her out big time.

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