I’m running around like I’m a participant in some cruel Pavlovian experiment tracking down devices to see what all the dinging’s about only to discover that Anna has earned some more freaking gifts in her Zoo Story app.


Look, I couldn’t give a tiny rat’s ass how many gifts/coins/random tokens you have earned in your silly little parent-approved app. Obviously, I have some training to do here so I can retain a small shred of sanity.

Dear kids,

Please do not accept push notifications for your numerous apps.


Feed my skull resident...

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