I have so many blogs to write. Two in particular are eating away at me because they are so delayed as to be almost ridiculous to produce at this point. Mad Men is over. I’m sure nobody cares to discuss anymore, but I still have so many feels about it that I’m going to write my blogs about the final two episodes anyway.

But this post is about the fact that despite Monica Seles being stabbed during a tennis match TWENTY YEARS ago, effectively ending her tennis career, we still haven’t figured out a way to keep a random brat from running around on Centre Court at the French so he can take a damn selfie with Federer? [Ed. note: it’s actually Court Philippe Chatrier. I think SOMEONE is looking forward to Wimbledon.] That is the most ridiculous shit I’ve ever typed, and I’ve typed some very ridiculous shit. And anyone who wants to argue that Seles’ career wasn’t ruined, please be assured that I’m not hearing you. She was Graf’s most serious competition, and a Seles who hadn’t experienced that career-altering experience would have changed tennis history with the records that Graf holds being pretty significantly reduced. I should mention that Graf was one of my favorites. I loved her game, and she was head and shoulders above everyone but Seles, in my opinion. I just know that Seles had a game that was a terrific counterpoint to Graf’s and would have made that period of tennis far more interesting for tennis fans.

And I’m going on and on about very ancient history. I’m much more appalled that this lack of adequate security is happening now. We have a historical event that exemplifies what can happen in the near worst-case scenario. So, I’m not even asking for planners to have to imagine what types of events could occur. The answer is right there in the Seles incident. So, what kind of idiots are planning the security for the events? And follow-up question, how pathetically inadequate was the security employee I saw in the background who took FOREVER to actually respond and grab the kid and remove him from Federer’s vicinity? Follow-up to the follow-up, why did I then see the kid in question take another lap around the court to (I guess) return to his seat instead of being detained somewhere? I have never felt so worried for poor Nishikori and Mathieu as I felt watching that rando saunter back around the perimeter of the court as if he had not a care in the world.

I have a tip for everyone involved in the security planning for Day 1 of French Open 2015. You are not cut out for rocket science, people. You are not even cut out for my job.


Feed my skull resident...

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