Lexi has two personalities. There’s Standard Lexi. And there’s Tail Tuck Lexi. Standard Lexi is your typical puppy who does typical puppy things. Then there’s Tail Tuck Lexi. Witness Tail Tuck Lexi:


Tail Tuck Lexi manifestation begins with the random tail-tuck sprint. It may be a circular sprint with no real destination in mind, or it may be a full out run and you have the red dot on your chest as the final destination. If you are her target, you have two options. You can run away (choose this one!), or you can stand your ground and absorb the full force of her impact. Because, make no mistake, she will not veer as she arrives at destination: you. She will just run right into you. And you will be sorry. When the tail-tuck sprinting is done, Tail Tuck Lexi does weird things — things that don’t make sense. Tail Tuck Lexi will take her Frisbee, place it on the ground and pee on it. Then Standard Lexi will come across her Frisbee later, sniff it and seem perplexed that it has pee on it. Tail Tuck Lexi jumps into or onto things that are not meant to support a dog. She recently jumped into a large planted pot and looked up at me from among the herbs she now shared space with as if to say, “What?” I looked at her and said sternly, “Get out!! That’s what!!” She climbs onto the outdoor furniture with no regard for current inhabitants. Anna and I were enjoying a nice conversation on the glider rocker when Lexi leaped onto the rocker and displaced Anna.  She jumps onto the outdoor table so she can be taller and regards nearby objects that are now accessible via a new route. Her logic is questionable. See below attempt to access the steps from the table on which she now resides though the railing is clearly going to make this impossible.


She has discovered that the furniture is a terrific launching pad. Witness the picture that follows. I paid dearly for this particular shot.


AND SHE CLIMBED UP INTO THE SWINGSET PLAYHOUSE, PEOPLE!! The kids came to me and said, “Mom, Lexi climbed up the ladder and tried to get in the playhouse.” I completely discounted their story because the only way up there is by LADDER. Dogs can’t climb ladders. Stairs, sure. But ladders? Of course not. So, I smiled benevolently at them and sent them on their way. Later, I was up in the playhouse with the camera in the hopes of capturing evidence of this crazy tale since they kept insisting that it was true, and, people, this dog is batshit crazy! But she does have skilz.


NOTE: my son is below her, but he is not helping her. He was merely there in case the crazy dog fell, so he could catch her and prevent her from breaking a leg.

She is entertaining and awfully damn cute. But I hope she grows out of Tail Tuck Lexi before she gets big because that could be a bit of a problem.

Feed my skull resident...

Comments (3)

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  3. Pingback: This, people. This is why I’m certain she is the spawn of Satan’s devil dog. | Exaggerated for Effect

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