You’ve seen Bradley Cooper. He’s stupid hot, right? I bet he’s always surrounded by masses of people, yes? Well, I’m here to tell you that there’s a reason he has trouble taking a step without having to move a stray rando out of his way. It’s because everybody’s looking for their next host, and everybody’s trying to trade up. When they finally figure this body snatching shit out and we can swap bodies with someone, you know proximity is going to

So, the ICYMIs continue. No, not because I’m lazy. Mostly, not because I’m lazy. Maybe a teeny, tiny bit because I’m lazy. Why are you still focusing on whether or not I’m lazy? You have to move on. You are obsessed. You should probably see someone about your problem. Sweet Baby Jesus! Tell me this isn’t true! Published on July 26, 2013 This dude is so freaking funny. I have worked my way through his entire blog. And I got to his beard

It’s a long one. This is therapeutic, people. And from what I understand, therapists don’t really have any interest in helping me work on my type of “issues” because apparently having birds living in your bathroom vent isn’t important unless one of them is your MOTHER or something. Or unless your mother is married to one of the birds in the vent, and now that bird is your horrible stepdad. And they are having like this weird human to avian relationship

I really participate fully in my dreams. When that giant lion appears and roars to signal that the feature is about to start, I’m all in, baby. (I just indicated that my nocturnal playground is run by MGM. That’s extremely unsettling. I’ve relinquished all creative control to a third party. P.S. This is not true. My crazy, lovable—she-made-me-type-that—brain is running the show.) Anyway, as I was saying, I am an all-the-way-in participant in my dreams. Therefore, I am a strong

This squirrel must have trouble remaining stationary when sitting.

The quality of this picture is all kinds of bad. Please forgive me for that. It’s really egregious. But I had to tweak this and alter that just to give you a look at what the family and I got to enjoy at a stoplight this beautiful Sunday. Let’s avoid looking at the circled area at first, OK? We pull up behind this pick-up truck at the stoplight, and we begin to study this fine piece of artwork as we wait