So, let’s say you and your brain have a bit of an adversarial relationship. And let’s say your brain has decreed your blog a dead zone. And you do a drive by and notice that it’s been two months since you’ve posted. TWO MONTHS! What do you do? Well, what you do is post a little video of some people having fun floating on the river. That’s what you do, people. Enjoy.

I don’t receive butt dials (or unintentionally-placed calls) often, but when I do, I ultimately react in a very strange manner. I answer the phone normally. And by normally, I mean that I start talking to whoever it is without the customary and polite greeting, as is my way. When the person doesn’t respond, I begin a verbal assault of “Hellos” which start at a normal volume but proceed to a volume that can be heard from miles away, so

Time for another one of those posts full of the random. Join me, won’t you? I’ve been desperately searching for a place to ride my bike that’s close enough to my house that I can jump on my ride and risk my life to get to it. And by that I mean that where I live is surrounded by roads that are traveled by people in a hurry. And people on bikes aren’t really viewed with love. But two days

I got a new Mini. I initially selected grey based on the advice of others (because RESALE!), but I wanted the volcanic orange from the start. Since Sebastian’s promised he’s never going to leave me, screw resale. But in the event I do ever have to part ways with my baby, I did get the four-door. *sigh* Here’s Sebastian: Here’s Sebastian’s ass: (Don’t worry. He’s not shy. Also, he’s a car.) As I’ve been tooling around town in my new boyfriend, I’ve spotted

My muse left me, you guys. For an entire month. Or close to it. I have no idea where she/he went, but I hope it was worth it because this blog doesn’t just write itself. Stupid muse. Anna and I were joking today. We’ve decided that appending the words, “That is a compliment,” to the end of a statement should ease any pain and suffering the statement might cause. Of course, this whole premise is entirely flawed. For example, she

So the past month has been fairly interesting around these parts. To put it mildly. I’m not going to go into details, because privacy, yo!, but all that MONTH-OF-CRAY explains why posting has been light. Or nonexistent. Those are synonyms, right? So, anyway, this is going to be one of those random posts that is impossible to follow. Good luck to you, and may the odds be ever in your favor. Spiders: OK, I’ve been tweeting about these little fuckers for