Well, Fed, I think you can put the Andy Murray voodoo doll back in storage for the rest of the year.

I kid, of course. One thing all pro sports players understand and sympathize with is a defeat like Murray suffered yesterday. Particularly Federer, as he’s fresh off one of his own. They should meet up for a little commiserating party, although that sounds terribly sad, and neither of them seems particularly inclined. Too stoic to participate in a pity session. In the best way. I think the way both of them handled their defeats was graceful, and that’s behavior you want kids to witness and emulate. No temper tantrums that I have to explain away to JT, so he won’t think it’s normal and acceptable, though it’s becoming annoyingly so.

Did you see Wawrinka’s face fall when he sat down for the press conference, grinning like he just played the match of his career, and received lukewarm applause? It was sad. Wawrinka’s been living in Fed’s shadow for years. He’s a great guy who finally has his moment in the sun, and I think it’s pretty ridiculous the press couldn’t muster up any enthusiasm for the guy. It’s ok, Wawrinka. Just let that be your motivation in the next round. You’re going to need it against Djokovic. You know, Wawrinka probably had the toughest road of anyone if you look at who he’s played. His draw was nasty.

I have to mention my extreme disappointment that the Bryans are out of the doubles. I love watching them play, and I was hoping to see them complete the single year Grand Slam. (Yes, I do think it should be capitalized.) But they certainly came up against a team who outplayed them.

Federer lost. In straight sets. And you people are going about your day as if it’s no big thing.

Stupid Robredo crushed my…Federer’s dreams of an 18th grand slam title. For that, he can go and lose in the next round. I wished him nothing but good things until he beat Federer. No, there is no need to point out my hypocrisy and say that I obviously did not wish good things for him as I wanted Federer to beat him. I’m not trying to hear that. As I was saying, I wished nothing but good things for Robredo until he beat Federer IN STRAIGHT SETS, but now I want to see three bagels when he plays Nadal. Hmmmm. I should clarify. I want Nadal to beat HIM 6-0 6-0 6-0.

I’ve been a Federer fan since the start of his career, and I was telling Matthew that I feel so invested because I’ve been following him for so long. He feels like a friend of the family. So when he experiences a nasty loss like that, I take it far too personally. Don’t judge too harshly. I’ve seen some folks after football losses act similarly. My sport just happens to be less popular. Doesn’t mean I’m less invested.

Speaking of invested, I think some of the former players who are now commentating are still invested. They bring up the greatest player ever conversation so they can all assert that Federer isn’t the one. While I disagree, I understand other viewpoints. However, I find the arguments tiresome when they are purely agenda-based. I think former players are inherently unable to participate in the discussion. Courier, I’m looking at you based on some recent silliness though you certainly aren’t the only one. Come on, people are trying to argue that Nadal is the best ever right now? I think it’s entirely possible that in a few years we can make that argument. But now? Anyone making that argument right now is purely agenda-driven. And I adore Nadal who is playing some smokin’ hard court tennis now. So, there’s no hate here. Maybe we should shelve the conversation while major contenders are still playing so people can be more rational. For example, if you are throwing out Nadal’s name before Sampras, you’re clearly making some assumptions for the rest of his career despite Djokovic, as a similar argument could be made for him, IMO. I think Nadal could be that contender if I weren’t so worried about his proneness to injury. But let’s not forget Rog’s years of badassery just because he’s getting his ass handed to him these days.

What in the wide world of sports was Serena wearing to warm up last night?

Hey Schiavone, don’t feel bad. I’m certain you had no idea that the warm up attire for last night’s match was quite so formal. I hope that Serena’s next opponents will take note so that they won’t have to face the same embarrassment you no doubt faced as you looked across the net and witnessed Serena going through her warm-up routine while dressed in a formal jacket.

This jacket is not right, y'all.
This jacket is not right, y’all.

THANK YOU FOR THE PICTURE, USA TODAY!!

OK, I can’t even with that jacket. Nike produced that jacket for her. I have to assume that they must have some sort of plan to sell it to other people. I mean, I wasn’t a business major, so I don’t have an in-depth understanding of economies of scale. But I get the broad strokes. So, I have to guess that there is an assumption that this jacket that Serena was sporting (HA, see what I did there? What? It was funny. Funnyish?) would appeal to other tennis players and even, perhaps, other athletes. But who in the world is buying that jacket? For one thing, how comfortable could it POSSIBLY be to play any sport in? And secondly? It’s fugly as all get out. Damn straight. I believe that sartorial choice has to be the most egregious in all sport fashion. OK, I’m sure there is something I’ve missed that tops this one. It IS grey. It could have been produced in some atrocious color like seafoam green to amp up the fug that much more. So, someone has certainly worn something worse at some point in history. But this one is way up there on the scale of fashion don’t. Right? Or am I underdressed when I play sports, and no one has wanted to break my spirit by telling me I need to up my game? HA! I did it again. See? Right? It’s funny. Huh? No? FINE THEN, GRUMPSTERS!!!

Wimbledon 2013 = meh

The semifinals for both women and men were very exciting, but the finals were anticlimactic. I’m ok with Murray winning, I guess, if only to give the home crowd what they’ve been waiting for patiently for so long. If we’re honest, I think we have to give a fair amount of the credit to a fantastic semifinal performance from del Potro who really weakened Djokovic for the final. I wanted desperately to see del Potro make it to the final though I’m not sure he had enough gas left for it. I certainly don’t feel meh about Bartoli’s win, but I think I’ve made that perfectly clear here in the past few days. I didn’t watch the match. I had OD’d on her and couldn’t take another second of the antics. And I knew I couldn’t bear to see her eke out the win over a tired Lisicki. If Radwanska couldn’t win, I really felt that Lisicki had earned the win for taking out arguably the biggest giant on either side of the tournament in Serena Williams. And certainly that accomplishment means she deserved it slightly more than Radwanska in sheer Wimbledon 2013 value. But no. It was not to be. And I wasn’t really surprised when I heard the outcome though I was very surprised it was in straight sets. Both finals were won in straight sets marking yet another time where the finals of a slam lack the thrill of the semis or even the quarters. I’m hoping the late rounds of the US Open make up for it.

Um, excuse me? Am I confused? Wait, don’t answer that.

My family and I wasted a good ten minutes watching a dude named Joey Chestnut slam down 69 nasty-ass hot dogs dripped in water because apparently this is a thing. And apparently America watches this. I know we certainly did. And I’m aghast by a couple of things. He has a coach. HE HAS A COACH, PEOPLE. What does this “coach” do? I’m pretty sure I could coach someone for this event. Dude? Eat. There. I’ve coached you. Wait, that’s not right. Dude? Eat fast. There. That’s better. And the other thing that’s got me sitting here watching this with my stupid mouth hanging wide open in astonishment? These people are ranked. THEY ARE RANKED. Like this is a sport. What in the world! The announcer is calling out their names like they’re about to enter the Thunderdome instead of participate in Nathan’s hot dog eating contest. I’m just astonished, entertained and horrified all at the same time. It’s a strange world we live in.

Wimbledon Women’s Late Round Notes

So I already disliked Bartoli, probably unfairly, but after she ended Sloane’s run, you can bet I am actively rooting against her regardless of her opponent in this and all future tournaments. Come on Flipkens!! Truthfully, I just don’t like her style of play. I really liked Seles, but it wasn’t because of her two-hand forehand and backhand. I liked her style of play and her sportsmanship. I cannot say the same for Bartoli. And I have to wonder why you would ever cede so much court to your opponents by playing both forehand and backhand two-handed. It just makes no sense. Add that to all her theatrics and flailing about on the court which are so ridiculous and distracting, and I’m just not able to root for her.

I’m a huge fan of Radwanska’s type of game. She’s able to play any tennis shot you can think of and probably practices the tweener on the regular because everything else in her game is so solid she needs the challenge. Check out this vid of her pulling out a tweener on Ivanovic (another of my faves) at the French.

I love watching her play. She plays a tactical game of finesse that is refreshing in a sea of booming serves and trading power backhands and forehands from the baseline. It’s why I loved watching Hingis play, and it’s why I seriously mourned the loss of Henin when she retired at the pinnacle of her career. I hope Aga does well against Lisicki (who I like but who doesn’t have anywhere near the breadth of game that Aga does) and doesn’t fall short after so many long 3-set matches. She’s all I have left thanks to Bartoli. Boo, Bartoli.