It’s a verbal vomit post because it’s been that kind of a day.

You know when you have those kinds of days that don’t seem to have a thread of connectivity running through them to ground you? So, you’re kind of like the tasmanian devil dude spinning around everyone, and …. Look, let’s just be honest. I was manic today. And it’s Tuesday. So, according to The Bangles, I can’t even do manic correctly. But anyway. It was a wild kind of day. Rollercoastery. No, spellcheck. Rollercoastery, NOT rollercoasters. I’ll write my own posts, thank you. Why don’t you take the evening off? I believe I’ve got this covered as it’s a BLOG. I’m not writing a thesis.

I’m just going to be honest. I can’t write the final two posts for Mad Men just yet. But I have to write them at some point because I have to finish! So, they’ll appear at some point. No one will care. But I will have finished the task. I just can’t quite face the fact that the show is over. Yet. It’s Breaking Bad all over again.

So, welcome to a verbal vomit post. Let’s get to it, shall we?

  • First. Who has watched Montage of Heck? If you haven’t, you must do so now. You will be grateful you spent your time on that instead of reading this crap. It’s incredible. And it got me wondering how my genius hasn’t been discovered yet. <snort> OK. No. What it actually did make me wonder, for real this time, was how many people focus on less weightier matters and topics, because it can be too emotionally-draining to dig into their psyche? I know there are many times that I just don’t look too closely for deeper meaning in things when I’m feeling particularly fragile. Usually, I’m all for poking and prodding at the dark corners of my mind to see what’s in there, but I know my limits and when to look up at the sky and just think, “Yep, it’s cloudy today.” He (Cobain) spent so much time in his head, and I can’t fathom the depth of his loneliness; although you definitely get a sense of it in the movie. It’s really well done.
  • Next. Gimelstob. Was it you? I’m not sure. If not, I apologize. One of you French Open commentators was complaining about Nadal being called for his CONTINUED time delays on his serve on a break point. Look. I get your point. It’s valid. However, I have an opposing point which is also valid. When he’s been called in the past on points that weren’t important, it hasn’t stopped him from taking extra time before every serve. Do you know how many times he went over the allotted time on his serve? Do you? Well of course you do because you told me during your diatribe. EVERY SINGLE TIME. That’s fairly significant, no? And my opinion is that if you call him on it when it HURTS him more (perhaps like on a break point?), it might make more of an impact. You immediately started blabbering about how this must NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. THIS CAN NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. Dude, chill. Have a beer. And he was eventually broken by Sock (Yes, non-tennis fans. The man’s last name is Sock. It’s fairly ridiculous, but what are you going to do. Also, he’s American. A male American tennis player. Who is damn good. I’ll take his ridiculous name and chant it, if it will make him successful.) See, that probably will stick in Nadal’s noggin. Hmmmm, all this time I’m taking before my serves is being noticed and becoming less and less tolerated. Maybe I should do something about it. But mine is also just an opinion. Just like yours. Guess what? The chair umpire? His is not an opinion. His is the ruling. Move on, man. I’m just grumbling about you on my little blog. You made an ass out of yourself on broadcast telly.
  • Veep. This show, people. You can’t even laugh out loud. You have to giggle to yourself as quietly as possible or else you’ll miss the next bon mot which is coming 2 seconds after the last.
  • Entourage. Yeah, woohoo and all that. I’m not even talking about the movie. Or the show. I just suspect that I’m supposed to be a part of certain celebrity entourages. It has just not happened due to circumstances. But if these celebs knew me they would almost certainly make me a part of their circle. I say almost because you have to account for a public mask that doesn’t match the private persona. If that’s the case, then all bets are off.
    • Jason Bateman. He and I would be thick as thieves. We’d probably be a threesome (not in that way, sicko) with Will Arnett with nearly constant banter. It would be endlessly entertaining to certain people, but confusing for others because we’d have a shorthand where we’d never quite finish a conversation or sentence because we’d be all crazy simpatico.
    • Amy Poehler. This would be the hardest to get in. I’d have to audition. And again. But I know who she hangs with, and my edge would win her over in the end. I trend dark humor, Amy. Call me. Plus, how could she say no to anyone. She’s so nice.
    • Lauren Graham. If she is anything at all like her former character, Lorelai Gilmore, then she and I would either get along like the closest sisters ever, or we’d fight constantly, because we are the same person.
    • Melissa McCarthy. I just need to be around her. Watch her do her thing. If you’ve ever seen This is 40 and haven’t watched until the credits finish, then you missed probably the best part of the movie. Melissa just goes to town. And I need that in my life. But I think I could roll with her. One of my favorite people ever moved out of town years and years ago, and I’ve never seen her since. I miss her terribly. She was my non-celeb Melissa McCarthy. We worked together and were a traveling comedy show which can be hard to manage in a law firm. But we made it work. So I think I could make things work with Melissa. I think.
    • Dave Matthews. I think this dude is probably in my family tree, and I just haven’t discovered it yet. I believe discovering begins with looking, but that could be a nasty lie. But I digress. You know the part in “Dancing Nancies” where he’s all — could I have been your little brother — and I’m like I’m certain you ARE, dude! Except not my little brother since you’re older. But you listen to his little bits on stage and he’s really strange and talking just “mad-crazy” talk, and I’m thinking, “Yeah, that sounds weird-trippy, and he’s doing that rambling thing. Sounds like me.” I’ve even turned to Matthew before and said something along those lines. Matthew kind of gave me the patient look that says, “Yes, it’s not one of your better qualities, but I’m rolling with it.” Anyway, as I was saying. Similar sense of humor. And did I mention that my confirmed brother has musical talents? Hi, Greg! Well, just put all that together. I don’t think I need to paint the rest of the picture for you, right? So, I’m looking forward to my holiday gift this year. Yeah, I didn’t know if it was a Christmas gift I should be expecting, or one of the other holidays, or a generic holiday gift. So I just figured I’d slip holiday in there to cover the whole shebang. Make sure I get my gift. Dude’s got mad cashflow. Hell, I’m bringing some of it TO YOU this summer, possible bro. The least you can do is reimburse.

Good news. Tasmanian devil left the house, yo. I’m tired. Time for Tito’s. Yeah. This post wasn’t even brought to you by alcohol.

How many viewings of ‘Pitch Perfect’ is a person allowed before people begin to question that person’s taste?

I’m going to hold back the number of times I’ve seen ‘Pitch Perfect’ until someone answers the question posed in the post title. Particularly since that number represents active viewings. Meaning that I’ve sought it out instead of just happening upon it in mid-airing. So it’s purposeful, people, and I’ll confess to having seen it more than five times. All since about a month ago, which is the first time I saw it at all. Yes, I missed it when it hit theaters, yet I’ve still managed to see it more than five times.

I’m linking you to a great community of writers that I just joined to check out one of my favorite scenes from the movie. It’s the Riff-off scene, and it features one of my favorite songs, “No Diggity.” While you’re at the link, browse around and visit all the yeah write bloggers who are taking part in NaBloPoMo. You’ll have a nearly endless supply of quality reading material all month long. I’m pretty sure this is why smartphones were invented.

Let me be the billionth and one to write this same post. I want some minions.

Of course, I’m talking about the Despicable Me minions since they are seriously entertaining little dudes. I need some of those little fellas in my household. Don’t we all? Of course we do. I would want to have a limited number of them, and I think it goes without saying that I want nothing to do with the purple hellions. I’d say no more than 6 because they can be awfully destructive, and I think you could contain the destruction if you only had 6 of them. I’d assign 2 of them to house duties. I’d assign 1 of them to Lexi potty patrol. I’d assign 1 of them to chauffeur duty. Obviously this could be dangerous since it’s apparent they aren’t so great with the driving and/or navigation skills, but my theory is that occurs when there are two or more of them. The other 2 would be around purely for entertainment value. Ahhhh, I can dream. Those little buggers are super funny.

I have to say that I thought DM2 was better than the first. I laughed throughout the entire movie to the utter dismay of my neighbors, JT and my father. What a terrific movie. I will buy it as soon as it’s available.

UPDATE: Dang, JT pointed out that you have to have 2 minions driving as they are short cuties who can’t reach the pedals on their own. So, scratch the chauffeur duty.

I love Pixar, and Monsters University didn’t disappoint.

I took Anna to see Monsters University with a couple of her buddies, and, as with any Pixar release, the short that precedes the movie was one of the draws for me. I was surprised at how underwhelmed I was by The Blue Umbrella. To me it came off as saccharine and uninspired which is a huge surprise because I’m typically enchanted with them. YMMV as I’m old and jaded. Monsters University was a hit. It wasn’t as layered as some of the other Pixars, but it was very fun and I enjoyed it thoroughly. It’s such a treat to be able to take your kids to a movie that they love and realize at the end that at no point did you look at your watch. That sounded far more cynical than I intended. I look at my watch once or twice during movies I enjoy. I look at my watch CONSTANTLY at movies I loathe. If I haven’t looked at my watch at all, that’s a sign that the movie is good AND well-paced.

NOTE: Obviously I understand that the technical aspects behind The Blue Umbrella should be taken into account. So it’s not really fair for me to have only an emotional response to it without noting that technically it’s impressive. Like I said, I’m old and jaded.

How did ‘This is 40’ fail me?

We rented This is 40 at my insistence because I thought it would be a slam dunk with Leslie Mann, Paul Rudd and the bonus of a little Melissa McCarthy. These folks are all comic geniuses in my book, and I assumed I was in for another comedy like these favorites of mine: BridesmaidsThe Change-upHorrible Bosses, and the Wedding Crashers. But oh my wasted time no! I think it’s a stretch to even consider it a comedy. I spent the majority of the movie cringing at the relationship at the center of it. Why is this couple staying married when they seem to barely tolerate each other’s existence? There was maybe some valid insight into parenting a teenager — and I’m quite reasonably terrified of that approaching doom, but the other relationships in the movie didn’t seem to be based on anything I’ve ever seen in real life. Fortunately I was rewarded for slogging through the entire movie with the Melissa McCarthy hilarity while the end credits rolled.


I’m sure he’ll forgive the snub.

So, it turns out there was a reason my brother was running around town with this period-appropriate hair for what seemed like eternity. He got the chance to be in this little film you might have heard about and played this pivotal role: Scene Extra #347.

Greg in "Lincoln"

I suppose he’ll forgive Daniel Day-Lewis’ neglecting to mention him in his Oscar acceptance speech. Danny spent an inordinate amount of time talking about Meryl Streep who wasn’t even in the movie. And certainly his speech was great, but he missed a prime opportunity to thank my brother for his contribution in that pivotal scene shown above. I’m sure my brother will forgive him however. Though I haven’t asked him directly, I imagine he was paid handsomely for his performance and he probably gets to attend at least some of Steve’s parties now that he’s part of his close circle of friends. Rock on, Greg!!