Ah, sexist anecdotes, I can’t hear enough of them. Super please yes yay! And the people who are so generous as to bend your ear with them? Salt of the earth. Nobody enjoys a women vs. dogs comparison more than I do. As humor goes, it’s almost as intellectually-advanced as a good blonde joke. Damn Machine It’s not that our washing machine officially turned in its resignation. It’s more that we called it in for its performance review, gave it

Did you know that was the precursor to March of the Penguins? It just wasn’t as compelling so, you know, no green light for that script. Fine. I’m lying. I contend it was actually March of the Giant House Centipede, although the penguins would never have made it to the pitch room in that case. Why, you ask? Because the House Centipede is a creature built for nightmares, people. Those babies are really damn attention-grabbing and would make perfect villains

So, look, I’m freelancing and very delighted to be doing so. Don’t get the wrong idea, people. That post title is between me and the germ-tube, and me and the germ-tube ONLY. Hey, germ-tube, “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!” Anyway, as I made my way through the germ-tube of derision that stood between me and my place of glorious biz (come on, you know that germ-tube is so totally mocking us as it makes

So the past month has been fairly interesting around these parts. To put it mildly. I’m not going to go into details, because privacy, yo!, but all that MONTH-OF-CRAY explains why posting has been light. Or nonexistent. Those are synonyms, right? So, anyway, this is going to be one of those random posts that is impossible to follow. Good luck to you, and may the odds be ever in your favor. Spiders: OK, I’ve been tweeting about these little fuckers for

When you get a bad review from one person, you know enough to discount it. Maybe a second person echoes the sentiment. You think, “Hmmm, I’ve heard that before. Thanks for your input. I’ll take it under advisement.” But when you hear similar statements from more than two people? It’s a bit hard to dismiss what they’re saying. Therefore, it appears that I’m not so good with the texting. Which is odd. Everything’s fine by me. Sure, I appear to be having