Slow walkers — I have an opinion Ah, slow walkers. Those delightful time-wasters. Promoters of Lollygagging. Directors of Dawdling. Helping all of us to enjoy each footfall ever so much more because we get to take each step      that     much      slower          oh       for          the               love            of            

Did you know that was the precursor to March of the Penguins? It just wasn’t as compelling so, you know, no green light for that script. Fine. I’m lying. I contend it was actually March of the Giant House Centipede, although the penguins would never have made it to the pitch room in that case. Why, you ask? Because the House Centipede is a creature built for nightmares, people. Those babies are really damn attention-grabbing and would make perfect villains

Holy hell!! I haven’t posted since December????? Is that even possible???! The bad news? This post is brought to you by: Hey look, a shiny object! Expect sharp turns. Look, there’s been a lot going on. Like a lot! I’d share, but yeah, I’m not going to share. Some of it is boring. Much of it is sooooooo emo. I can’t even begin to explain how emo. I should write some godawful poetry or music, or just emote the hell

Anna and I really get into my stories. Well, in my head, she is really getting into them. She shows enthusiasm, but let’s face it. I’m her mother. She’s probably just indulging me. I do love receiving proper appreciation for my creative endeavors, and she knows it. So, she either adores my stories or is silently enduring them. Whatever. I’ve got an audience. I’ve decided to believe that she’s a rapt one. If Anna and I were questioned about the

Anna caught Lexi in a state of ennui for 15 minutes and produced a movie trailer that has me “anticipating” the release of the full feature film. And I kid. I think this movie trailer is like so many others when I think to myself after seeing it, “Yeah, I think I can miss that one. I think I’ve got the gist of it.” [Ed. Note: I just noticed a fluff of Fox’s hair on the carpet in one of

I don’t come off well in this. First, because I haven’t played in months, and so my game is quite sucky. Second, it’s clear that I’m a complete fool, and I’m prone to celebrating at even the most pathetic of winning shots in a most obnoxious manner. Real adult-like. But Sebastian has a cameo in here, and that makes it worth a little something. [Ed. Note: I should mention that I didn’t wear the togs in preparation for ping pong. I had