The joke’s on me. Of course, the joke’s always on me.

So, Lexi’s home and all is (crossed fingers!) well with her little operation. But as the assistant went over her after-procedure care instructions with me, it became very clear that Lexi must have performed at least one or two inside tail-tucking sessions and they fully intended to get back at me for all the trouble she caused. This is what she said to me. “You have to keep her quiet and calm until the weekend.” I looked at her and studied her face for signs of a sly grin beginning to emerge. I waited to share a giggle or a healthy guffaw at that one. It was going to be great to get a really healthy belly laugh out. I hadn’t laughed like I was going to laugh at this one in days and this was good stuff, baby. But, you guys, she was totally serious. Totally. I looked at her and said, “Come again? Have you met this dog? Can I take her for some quiet, controlled walks to help her work out some of that pent up energy?” She said, “No.” I waited for some ideas. I gave her the encouraging look. I got nothing. And it was clear that she wanted to help. She just had nothing for me. They actually like Lexi, and though she is a “spirited” puppy, they are always happy to see her. But, she had nothing. Basically, good luck getting through this, lady.

When I got home, I read through the rest of the instructions and saw that I was supposed to do the compress thing again. Oh great! OH HAPPY DAY!!! That went like gangbusters the last time I had that assignment, so yippee and huzzah! A little farther down as you’d expect, it says to discourage the dog from licking the incision site. Duh, of course. But, talk about asking for the near-impossible….

So, this morning, I expected Lexi to still be feeling a little slow since the operation was just yesterday. I expected that tomorrow and Friday would be my days of hell. But, no buddy. Lexi is an overachiever. This morning she is bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. When I took her out for her morning constitutional on her leash, she moseyed over to the outside bin where we keep her training toys and looked at me suggestively. Like, you’d best be grabbing that toy and giving it a good toss so I can get to fetching. I’ve got at least three tail-tucking sessions scheduled for 9, so we’ve got to get moving, mom. Also, I’m going to follow up my tail-tucking sessions with about an hour of licking my incision. I’ll probably nap after that giving you at least some time where you can be off duty. Enjoy that time because the entire cycle starts again after my nap. Love ya, mom. Also? I still haven’t forgiven you for letting them cut me.

COME ON WEEKEND!!!!

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