Well, Fed, I think you can put the Andy Murray voodoo doll back in storage for the rest of the year.

I kid, of course. One thing all pro sports players understand and sympathize with is a defeat like Murray suffered yesterday. Particularly Federer, as he’s fresh off one of his own. They should meet up for a little commiserating party, although that sounds terribly sad, and neither of them seems particularly inclined. Too stoic to participate in a pity session. In the best way. I think the way both of them handled their defeats was graceful, and that’s behavior you want kids to witness and emulate. No temper tantrums that I have to explain away to JT, so he won’t think it’s normal and acceptable, though it’s becoming annoyingly so.

Did you see Wawrinka’s face fall when he sat down for the press conference, grinning like he just played the match of his career, and received lukewarm applause? It was sad. Wawrinka’s been living in Fed’s shadow for years. He’s a great guy who finally has his moment in the sun, and I think it’s pretty ridiculous the press couldn’t muster up any enthusiasm for the guy. It’s ok, Wawrinka. Just let that be your motivation in the next round. You’re going to need it against Djokovic. You know, Wawrinka probably had the toughest road of anyone if you look at who he’s played. His draw was nasty.

I have to mention my extreme disappointment that the Bryans are out of the doubles. I love watching them play, and I was hoping to see them complete the single year Grand Slam. (Yes, I do think it should be capitalized.) But they certainly came up against a team who outplayed them.

Federer lost. In straight sets. And you people are going about your day as if it’s no big thing.

Stupid Robredo crushed my…Federer’s dreams of an 18th grand slam title. For that, he can go and lose in the next round. I wished him nothing but good things until he beat Federer. No, there is no need to point out my hypocrisy and say that I obviously did not wish good things for him as I wanted Federer to beat him. I’m not trying to hear that. As I was saying, I wished nothing but good things for Robredo until he beat Federer IN STRAIGHT SETS, but now I want to see three bagels when he plays Nadal. Hmmmm. I should clarify. I want Nadal to beat HIM 6-0 6-0 6-0.

I’ve been a Federer fan since the start of his career, and I was telling Matthew that I feel so invested because I’ve been following him for so long. He feels like a friend of the family. So when he experiences a nasty loss like that, I take it far too personally. Don’t judge too harshly. I’ve seen some folks after football losses act similarly. My sport just happens to be less popular. Doesn’t mean I’m less invested.

Speaking of invested, I think some of the former players who are now commentating are still invested. They bring up the greatest player ever conversation so they can all assert that Federer isn’t the one. While I disagree, I understand other viewpoints. However, I find the arguments tiresome when they are purely agenda-based. I think former players are inherently unable to participate in the discussion. Courier, I’m looking at you based on some recent silliness though you certainly aren’t the only one. Come on, people are trying to argue that Nadal is the best ever right now? I think it’s entirely possible that in a few years we can make that argument. But now? Anyone making that argument right now is purely agenda-driven. And I adore Nadal who is playing some smokin’ hard court tennis now. So, there’s no hate here. Maybe we should shelve the conversation while major contenders are still playing so people can be more rational. For example, if you are throwing out Nadal’s name before Sampras, you’re clearly making some assumptions for the rest of his career despite Djokovic, as a similar argument could be made for him, IMO. I think Nadal could be that contender if I weren’t so worried about his proneness to injury. But let’s not forget Rog’s years of badassery just because he’s getting his ass handed to him these days.

Day of sloth! Day of sloth!

NOTE: US OPEN Spoilers Below

I love a good old fashioned sloth day. My definition reads: sit/lie around in PJs or loungewear with remote always within quick reach, if not in hand. Today’s viewing consisted mostly of US Open tennis, but I channel-surfed during commercial breaks. During the surf breaks, I watched a bit of both Sixteen Candles and Pretty in Pink in addition to other things, and I have some thoughts.

On Sixteen Candles – I didn’t have my own car in high school, and the times that I was unable to bum a ride from my more fortunate and awesome friends, I had to ride the bus. So while watching Sixteen Candles, I was forced to compare the characters on that bus with the characters I remember on mine. Unlike the movie version of a high school bus, the oddest person on my bus ride was undoubtedly me. In fact, I wish I had some characters like those in Sixteen Candles on my bus. I could have kicked back and enjoyed high school confident that I was all kinds of normal. Boys with jockstraps on their heads, the dude with the crazy eyebrow-twitching, the brass section in the back playing their instruments (no disrespect, my brother), of course, AMH all swaggering and completely oblivious, even the nerdy bus driver with his high-fiving ways and his sweatband. The people on my bus were disappointingly normal, albeit equally lacking in cool transport. With a character named Long Duk Dong highlighted in the movie, that Hughes didn’t portray a realistic view of high school bus riders isn’t really high on the list of complaints with this movie. Still, I thought I’d point it out.

On Pretty in Pink – OK, I was an Andrew McCarthy. Some girls were an Emilio. Some were a Judd Nelson. I was also a Rob Lowe despite the many reasons not to be, but that’s not really germane. Anyway, since I was an Andrew McCarthy, Pretty in Pink was right up my alley. UNTIL the prom scene. Well actually slightly before the prom scene. I have a theory. The movie muckity mucks liked McCarthy up until the scene where McCarthy is sitting on his bed in that godawful washed-out blue shirt which is when they hated him with the fire of a thousand suns. And they continued to hate him until shooting was finished. How else to explain the fact that he was crush-worthy up until that point and then turned into another character completely. If Jon Cryer is looking like the better candidate for the dance both in how he’s treating you and how he’s looking, something is up in whoville. Yo, McCarthy. Go back in time and just say no to that fugly bluish shirt and the white tux jacket. Those looks did you no favor, bro.

US Open, baby! Can you hear the music in the background? “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.” Just tweak the lyrics a bit…..eh, I’m too lazy, and it’s been done for school supplies. That kind of takes the magic out of it. Anyway, the US Open is my favorite slam of the year. You’ll hear me wax poetic about Wimbledon, the French, and even the Australian, and they all have something special to offer. The US Open, however, is the best, if a bit bittersweet since I know I won’t have any more slam tennis to watch until January.

About del Potro’s loss to Hewitt last night…. I’m very sad to see del Potro out of the tournament. I really like Hewitt. I’ve always loved his grit and tenacity. He’s so much fun to watch out there. But del Potro. He’s one of my faves. (Yes, even though he beat my all-time favorite, Fed, in 2009.) So, as I was saying, I love del Potro (who in the world doesn’t?), and I think he has more left in his tank than Hewitt and that will translate into a coast for someone. So, I’m disappointed that he lost last night’s match because I think he would have given Djokovic some trouble whereas Hewitt will not.

That was a fantastic win for Riske over Kvitova. Watching Riske tear up during her interview with Mary Joe, I certainly didn’t tear up in response to all that genuine emotion. OK, I did, but I’m not made of stone. Don’t judge.

I wish McHale won over Ivanovic. Yes, I’m an Invanovic fan, but, come on, McHale is American and this is the US Open. I thought McHale had it, but it looked like she couldn’t sustain that level of play, and Ivanovic stopped making so many unforced errors.

I loved watching Cornet beating up on Azarenka during that first set. She had to play some amazing tennis to do so, but I really love her game and her fire. As far as Azarenka, I normally don’t think of her as being a great example of good sportsmanship. It could be because of that horrible noise she makes. I find her incredibly annoying to watch play unless I mute the TV, but I thought she handled the mess at the end of the second set beautifully. It had to be obvious that she was the victim of a very bad call. It was so far inside of the baseline that it was bound to be obvious from her side of the court. But she kept her calm and was able to prevail. Impressive.

I’ve never enjoyed watching Nadal play more. He’s playing flawlessly, and it’s hard to believe that clay’s his best surface after watching him play this hardcourt season.

Kohlschreiber broke my heart by beating Isner. I think Kohlschreiber is a fantastic player and always dangerous. And now he’s on my list. Isner has got to figure out a way to play and win matches that contain fewer than 5 sets. I know this was a 4 set match. And he lost. I’m just worried that he’s wearing himself out.

What in the wide world of sports was Serena wearing to warm up last night?

Hey Schiavone, don’t feel bad. I’m certain you had no idea that the warm up attire for last night’s match was quite so formal. I hope that Serena’s next opponents will take note so that they won’t have to face the same embarrassment you no doubt faced as you looked across the net and witnessed Serena going through her warm-up routine while dressed in a formal jacket.

This jacket is not right, y'all.
This jacket is not right, y’all.

THANK YOU FOR THE PICTURE, USA TODAY!!

OK, I can’t even with that jacket. Nike produced that jacket for her. I have to assume that they must have some sort of plan to sell it to other people. I mean, I wasn’t a business major, so I don’t have an in-depth understanding of economies of scale. But I get the broad strokes. So, I have to guess that there is an assumption that this jacket that Serena was sporting (HA, see what I did there? What? It was funny. Funnyish?) would appeal to other tennis players and even, perhaps, other athletes. But who in the world is buying that jacket? For one thing, how comfortable could it POSSIBLY be to play any sport in? And secondly? It’s fugly as all get out. Damn straight. I believe that sartorial choice has to be the most egregious in all sport fashion. OK, I’m sure there is something I’ve missed that tops this one. It IS grey. It could have been produced in some atrocious color like seafoam green to amp up the fug that much more. So, someone has certainly worn something worse at some point in history. But this one is way up there on the scale of fashion don’t. Right? Or am I underdressed when I play sports, and no one has wanted to break my spirit by telling me I need to up my game? HA! I did it again. See? Right? It’s funny. Huh? No? FINE THEN, GRUMPSTERS!!!

Wimbledon 2013 = meh

The semifinals for both women and men were very exciting, but the finals were anticlimactic. I’m ok with Murray winning, I guess, if only to give the home crowd what they’ve been waiting for patiently for so long. If we’re honest, I think we have to give a fair amount of the credit to a fantastic semifinal performance from del Potro who really weakened Djokovic for the final. I wanted desperately to see del Potro make it to the final though I’m not sure he had enough gas left for it. I certainly don’t feel meh about Bartoli’s win, but I think I’ve made that perfectly clear here in the past few days. I didn’t watch the match. I had OD’d on her and couldn’t take another second of the antics. And I knew I couldn’t bear to see her eke out the win over a tired Lisicki. If Radwanska couldn’t win, I really felt that Lisicki had earned the win for taking out arguably the biggest giant on either side of the tournament in Serena Williams. And certainly that accomplishment means she deserved it slightly more than Radwanska in sheer Wimbledon 2013 value. But no. It was not to be. And I wasn’t really surprised when I heard the outcome though I was very surprised it was in straight sets. Both finals were won in straight sets marking yet another time where the finals of a slam lack the thrill of the semis or even the quarters. I’m hoping the late rounds of the US Open make up for it.

Confession is good for the soul: I’m too invested in Roger Federer’s tennis career.

So Wild Wednesday at Wimbledon happened, and I needed a few days to grieve. That’s a sign that I’m way too invested in Fed’s success in the majors if I can’t watch any of the Wimbledon matches (ANY OF THEM!!) for three days (THREE DAYS!!) because I’m mourning the fact that his grand slam quarters streak ended and he won’t be featured in any more Wimbledon matches this year. I’ve followed his career from the onset, and I know he’s nearing its end. So I’ve made alternate plans for whom I’ll root for in situations when he receives an early round boot. Unfortunately, Rafa factored heavily into that plan followed by Jo Willy. So, my plans were effectively turned into a steaming pile of poo this year at the All England Club. I was also very sad to see Sharapova eliminated. Fortunately, I’ve still got two women I’d really like to see do well, so that’s where I’ll focus my attention for the rest of the tournament. Come on Sloane and Aga!

Bring on the US hard court season! US Open, please be kind to FedEx!!