I have two food items that I can’t seem to get enough of this time of year. One is not at all controversial. It’s my favorite fruit mix. Everyone has a fruit mix preference, and mine is cantaloupe, strawberries and blueberries. I sometimes add some other fruits in like blackberries and kiwi to keep things interesting, but this is my go to base. I could eat this every day and I come pretty close to doing so this time of year.
My second favorite is a simple tomato sandwich. This one will elicit gasps of horror from some people and nods of understanding from others. The tomatoes have to be the great ones of mid to late summer, and I’m a purist in that all I really need is some good wheat bread (toasted optional), a little mayo, and a great tomato. A BLT is another favorite and a little cheese is a nice addition, too. But a simple tomato sandwich is something I could eat every day for lunch and be very happy in the summer months.
This is Lexi. I hijacked her blog temporarily because things are dire here. I’m an adorable puppy and I don’t appear to be getting my way. And by all accounts I’m at the height of my adorableness. So, you do the math. If I’m not getting my way now, the future looks very grim my friends.
Here’s the situation. I was taken to that place again. I initially thought I liked the place upon first meeting the people there. So friendly!! I was immediately offered a very tasty treat. But friends I must tell you that while I was enjoying that treat something very nasty was taking place around my hindquarters. They were placing an object in an area that things were not meant to be placed. I lunged forward with an obvious physical indicator of “HELLO, that is UNWELCOME,” but, alas, they continued with that unpleasantness. They offered me another treat, and while I hesitantly enjoyed it, a NEEDLE was jammed into my body!! Listen, it’s just unseemly the things that take place there while my family members look on as if all is just fine and dandy. Well guess what? It is anything but fine and dandy which I attempt to convey to my idiot family members with a myriad of puppy expressions, but those fools do not come to my aid. Now on to the latest injustice that occurred just a few days ago. I was listening in as they discussed me and in between all the blah blah blah she bites A LOT blah blah blah she seems to destroy toys at a rate previously unknown to veterinary science blah blah blah, I distinctly heard this: When should we move her to two meals a day? HOLY SHIT, friends! What fresh hell is this? They are going to stop feeding me; do you believe this madness? Circle the wagons!!!!! And I hear you all now. You want me to calm down and understand that they will feed me the same amount each day just portion it into fewer meals. But listen. I’M A LAB!!!! I WANT TO EAT ALL DAY LONG. THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME SANE IS LISTENING TO THE SWEET SOUND OF FOOD LANDING IN MY FOOD BOWL AND SUBSEQUENTLY DEVOURING THAT FOOD WHOLE. I see no future in a two meal a day schedule for me. I feel that three meals a day was a low bar in the first place, but I was forced to accept it since I wasn’t able to negotiate a better deal. And look where that complacency got me! I am now looking to you, my canine friends, for help. I expect your support, and I hope I can count on you to ration your food so that you may subsidize my meals. I will be in touch to discuss a delivery method and schedule.
I can say from experience that lab puppies suck at telling time but seem to feel that they have a pretty good handle on it. Every hour or so depending on her nap schedule she finds me to give me her “It’s time!” face.
It’s time! It’s time! It’s time!
If I don’t take her seriously, she escalates to insistent barking and takes up her vigil near the bowl as a helpful reminder of the location where I need to place the food I should now be retrieving. And of course every now and then she’s right: a stopped clock you know. So that just proves to her that she’s on to something and I’m the one who’s having trouble with the telling of time. And with feeding time being the frenetic and hyperactive experience it currently is, I shudder to consider what happens when we drop down to two meals a day. I hope to be back at work when that occurs. It sounds like the perfect time for her to be alone. I’m sure she won’t pick up any destructive behaviors when faced with a missing midday meal.