Some songs should never be produced.

The fam and I were shopping for some fruits and veggies the other day and got an earful of the most noxious sound coming from the speakers. I thought about dropping to the floor with my hands over my ears crying “no more please!” but that seemed a bit overdramatic. This song they were playing was ostensibly created to be bland and inoffensive, but it just made the listener feel unaccountably annoyed at the crappiness of the song. I seriously believe a piece of toast could sit down and compose the lyrics and score for it. In 15 minutes. With a 10-minute smoke break. I think it was trying to fit itself into the country genre. Country, of course, was busy saying, “Nuh uh, buddy. Get your nasty, no good self out of our genre. You are really messing with our reputation which takes hits way too often as it is.”

Why can’t these places just have classical music playing in the background? It makes any place feel a little bit more fancy, and it’s supposed to make us smarter. Or maybe not. But at least the fancy part is true.

4 thoughts on “Some songs should never be produced.

    1. I know. I know. I should have that detail in the post if only so that the poor composer (a slightly burnt piece of toast) can defend itself, but to tell you the truth I don’t even know. I fled the store and immediately scrubbed the lyrics from my brain. All I can tell you is that it was so so so bad that I felt compelled to forget the few lyrics I was able to discern just so I could heal myself. 😉

      1. FWIW, I’ve had this reaction PLENTY of times in stores, but with an added kick. My hearing in public places is fairly lousy. I’m not sure it’s from playing the drums or what, but the din of restaurants and supermarkets can turn quickly into a mosh pit of noise that I’ve somehow gotten used to. So for me, that piped in music turns into a barely audible melody (hah, melody. what’s that?). All that reaches my poor brain is the constantly repeating contours of an incredibly annoying chorus. It will repeat over and over and over again with maybe a minute of rest then it kicks back in over and over and over again. I’ll usually look around hoping that someone else locks eyes with me and we can say silently, “can you believe this crap?!” but no. Maybe musical taste is going the way of the dodo?

        -your brother (who wrote a blog post about how wonderful “Sailing” is 🙂

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